Allowing a disagreement to go from arguing to fighting is completely counterproductive and needs to be avoided. This style might work great with people who have similar styles but can present a problem in some relationships. Why do we find it so hard to discuss difficult issues? One big complaint women have is that their guy doesn’t help out at all, and they have to do everything. 10 synonyms of discuss from the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus, plus 17 related words, definitions, and antonyms. by Dr. John C. Maxwell. Teaching our students the basics of argument and discussion is not about tooling them up to ‘win’. It is easy enough to form into irresistible blocks of righteous indignation. Somebody will still have to do it. This is a total withdrawal and refusal to discuss the issue. Discuss this – “In the case of argument, how will the two of you solve it?”. Helpful 1 Not Helpful 2. On the other hand, arguments are rarely good. Listen carefully to the other person's point of view, but don't be afraid to offer up your own. Let's discuss it later when we've calmed down." We seem to have no trouble hurling opinions at each other. or simply, "Not gonna' argue with you." Why? Discussions can be healthy, since they have the potential to build relationships and result in a "win" for everyone. Sometimes it’s better not to play at all. About the author. The aim of an argument, or of a discussion, should not be victory but progress. Celeste Headlee is an award-winning journalist, the bestselling author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter, and cohost of the series Retro Report on PBS. Not everyone needs to discuss their feelings to solve a problem. Don’t Argue—Discuss! How not to argue. It usually leaves the conversation with nowhere to go. Think before you speak. Disagreements involve a “we” –we disagree but Fighting is “me against you.” “We” may be fighting but character assassinations, abusive language, and bringing up the past only pit us against each other. There are many ways to graciously step back from an argument. Some people want to discuss their feelings and fully explain the problem so that the other person understands and no one gets their feelings hurt. Try to avoid any of the following: Stonewalling. Headlee serves as an advisory board member for Procon and the Listen First Project. 1) Only argue when the argument can help you two become better people There is no reason to argue about who’s taking out the trash. The following are some suggestion on what both of you can agree on in this discussion. Resources Mentioned In This Video: Are you ready to break free from the controllers in your life? They may have a fight over him not taking out the garbage or leaving dirty dishes in … Rash words can do more harm than good, Klapow said. End on a good note. – Karl Popper. You may choose other phrases to use, like "You know, I really don't want to argue with you. When the game isn’t working – when discussions veer into argument territory – it’s helpful to pause and consider some new rules. Thanks! In this article we will use the terms’ ‘discussion’ and ‘argument’ interchangeably. New plays. Instead they argue about trivial things instead of the real thing. Find another word for discuss. There are lots of destructive things that people do in arguments that tend to make conflict worse rather than help resolve it. They are forceful attempts to change another person’s … But, it is worth noting that the real purpose of a discussion is to explore a variety of arguments to arrive at the truth, where possible. Don't argue with what you think (maybe mistakenly) that the other person is feeling.